Friday, April 3, 2009

Sex = Fun?

I’m a bit of a word freak, having eighteen or so English degrees, and lately I’ve been having trouble with an expression: “Sex is fun.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying sex isn't fun. However, the word “fun” isn’t really an appropriate to description. It’s a gross simplification at best and a complete misrepresentation at worst.

I mean, baseball is fun... Well, alright, it isn’t, but people pretend it is so they can have an excuse to drink beer and eat hot dogs for all sixteen hours of the game. Anyway, if baseball can be described as fun, how can we possibly describe sex, with all its cultural significance and taboos, with the same word?

I doubt my wife would divorce me if she found me playing baseball with another woman. There aren’t any states that have laws banning baseball between people of the same gender. We don’t keep lists of people who were convicted of forcing children to play softball.

Now that I think about it, that last one is a good idea. We should get started on it.

Maybe I’m wrong, though. Maybe sex should be treated exactly like baseball. We should build giant stadiums (Trojan Stadium, KY Field), form teams (Ontario Orgasms, Florida Foreplays, Texas Teases), and start little league teams.

Who’s up for a tailgate party?

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