Friday, February 6, 2009

Necessary Censorship

This is one of those stories you can never tell anyone. I’ve been dying to tell it, however, so I’m going ahead. I’m bleeping out the offensive (or, at least, disturbing) words, so you don’t have to gross out, but you should still be able to get the idea.

So, this one night, I suddenly feel like I have to BLEEP. It’s pretty bad, but I’m fighting the urge by lying still, drinking water, and concentrating. In fact, the urge to BLEEP is so bad that it wakes me up several times. Then, hours later, I realize I need to BLEEP. I go to the bathroom only to find that it’s not BLEEP but really BLEEP. So I’m BLEEPing and it’s going and going and then the BLEEP hits me. It’s not that bad, but bad enough that I lose the battle and realize I have to BLEEP after all.

And here’s the worst part: I suddenly realize that if I don’t finish BLEEPing before I BLEEP it’s going to BLEEP back at me.

Pretty gross, eh? Whew! I’m glad I finally got to tell someone!

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